Adultery, a hidden coiled viper
“You shall not commit adultery."
You may remember a
scandal that blew up a few years ago regarding a certain web site that existed
for the sole purpose of offering a kind of anonymous social network for people
seeking to commit adultery. Or at least it was supposed to be anonymous.
Someone hacked their site, got the names and addresses, and released all the
information of millions of people who had signed up to cheat on their spouses.
Adultery
When I did a quick
look at some sites on the internet, adultery is cited as the second most common
reason for divorce in the UK. I am sure
that I do not need to define this sin and like the Commandment we looked at
regarding murder it is one that most people are quick to say they have never
broken. However, like murder, Jesus makes it clear that adultery isn’t just
limited to the physical act. Here's what
Jesus says about the Seventh Commandment (Matthew 5:27): "You have heard
that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' 28 But I say to you that
everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed
adultery with her in his heart." In other words, an adulterous thought or
an adulterous desire carries the same kind of moral guilt as an adulterous act.
It starts in the heart.
When we consider
what Jesus is saying in this passage it becomes clear that adultery is always
preceded by the desire of the heart. This
is why adultery is such a deceptive sin – a coiled viper. John MacArthur said that in so many
counselling situations, when caught in adultery, the offending spouse will
often say “I didn’t mean to do it.”, “I don’t know how I got caught up in it.”
or “I never thought I was someone who would do something like that.” MacArthur says that when he walks them through
the events there were many warning signs along the way that they didn’t
recognise or just chose to avoid.
Warning signs
I know dear reader
that the thought of adultery is abhorrent to you and the furthest thing from
your mind yet the Bible warns “If
you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” Let
none of us think that we are immune to any sin.
So, with that in mind let us look at some of the warning, signs so that
we may avoid marital disaster. Though I
cannot possibly cover every possible warning sign, here are just a few. Please note this is for you to check your own
heart NOT your spouses.
The first one is
obvious but do you find yourself physically attracted to someone not your
spouse? Now this might not be overt –
but are you comparing him/her to someone else; noticing their good points and
finding only fault in your spouse. It
has been said that you fall in love with someone is when all you can think
about are the good points and you fall out of love when all you can think about
are their bad points. Linked to this,
but perhaps a little less obvious is the emotional or intellectual attraction. Let me explain. When God said that the two become one, this I
believe, goes beyond just the physical. God has given us our spouse to be our
closest friend and confidant. They
should be the one whom we love to spend time with the most; they should be the
first one we go to when things go wrong or right, it is their opinion we should
crave. But emotional adultery can begin when we find someone of the opposite
sex with whom you carve out time to be with, in who’s presence you look forward
to being in. It is they that we go to
first with our problems, whom we seek out first to share good news, who’s
opinion we regard highly – That person is only one step away from the old
cliché “My wife doesn’t understand me.” and we all know where that road
leads…
Now please don’t
misunderstand me, I am not saying that we cannot ever talk with or confide in
work colleagues of the opposite sex and there may be times when it is necessary
due to the nature of your work, confidentiality etc. However I would urge you
to do so in such a way that you will not put you in a compromising situation –
for either you or the other person. Let
me give you an example. Mike Pence a Christian and America’s Vice President
made it clear that he would not sit down to dinner or be alone in a meeting
with another woman. The liberal media
called this ‘The Pence Rule’ and of course criticised him. However he was just following Biblical wisdom
by not allowing the devil even a foothold into his marriage.
The scourge of our day.
The internet is a
wonderful tool but it has brought into our homes material that just 20 years
ago could only be found in seedy back alley shops (I am trying to be delicate
at I know families read this.) As with murder, Jesus is not just condemning the
act but also the thoughts and desires of the heart. One doesn’t need to commit adulty to be an adulterer. Note Jesus’ words “But I tell you that
anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her
in his heart.” This sin is
widespread and I’ve seen some very scary statistics suggesting it is at epidemic
proportions. Whereas it is mostly men, women also have become addicted. Alongside
the ‘internet’ the lure is for women is a little subtler. You may remember a series of books and films
that came out recently aimed specifically at the female market – and unfortunately,
they were highly successful.
Summing it up
So much more could
be said but I think we get the point.
Brother and sisters, we are in a war and Satan knows that if he can take
down marriages then he has struck a blow at God’s kingdom. Marriage is a sign of the Gospel – Christ the
bridegroom and the Church as the bride.
Our marriages are to reflect that.
If we allow adultery (in any form) to come into a marriage then we mar
that image and bring shame on the work of the Gospel.
Song for the day.
This contemporary
song uses a children’s chorus to warn us that the sin of adultery is subtle and
can happen slowly but with disastrous consequences. I don’t normally say watch the video but this
time I will. It is filmed in reverse
showing that if things had been done differently at the start it would never
have ended up the way it did. It’s
called “A Slow Fade” and can be found here.
Prayer for the day.
Our loving and
ever merciful Father,
We pray this day
for marriages – those who are newly wed and for those who have been married a
long time. Lord, this is a beautiful institution
that you created for mankind in the garden for our benefit and enjoyment. It is also a wonderful picture of the Gospel,
the love that Christ has for his Church and the Church for Him. We pray that you will have your hand of
protection upon all the marriages in our church and wider Christian
community. We know that Satan desires to
destroy your people and one way is by destroying marriages. We beseech you to protect our eyes, minds and
hearts from every assault of the world.
Keep us faithful to our spouses.
For those going through difficulties in their marriage we ask for a
speedy reconciliation and if anyone is being lured into temptation we ask for
the works of the Holy Spirit to remove that temptation.
We ask this for
the sake of the Bridegroom of the Church, Jesus Christ.
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